27 November 2006

15 things that indicate you are getting adjusted to London

1) You know how to get on the tube at rush hours (TFL announcements: "Please use ALL doors. Squeeeeze in there! Doors are closing! Please stand clear of the doors. I SAID please stand clear of the doors!!!").

2) You have developed the confidence to stick out your arm to hire a bus, without feeling embarassed.

3) As a continental European, you have found out the secret tricks how to use a british toilet (not to be underestimated).

4) You resignatingly accept the fact that "conceptions and constructions" of a Caffè Latte are not universal.

5) You react neither intimidated nor panicked upon seeing a security guard, even at the oddest of places (what does Starbucks need a security guard for???).

6) The feeling of being observed and either be the main actress/actor your very own Truman Show, stuck in the intimate fantasies of whoever is surveilling the CCTV monitors, or be seized and transported to a secret police interrogation room because mistakingly assumed to be an Austrian-Hungarian spy.

7) You can blend out the frequent shop announcements about NOT LEAVING YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS UNATTENDED.

8) The ear-splitting sirenes of the respective emergency services vehicles which, of course, get stuck in a traffic jam right anywhere where you happen to be at the moment, don't make you all aggressive anymore.

9) You get used to the thin walls that expose you to the risk of getting your ears on heavy evidence of your neighbours very healthy relationship.

10) You have a reason to become 21: the purchase of alcohol. "Please be not offended if we ask you for your ID if you are lucky enough to look under 21" - That's what they put on stickers next to the till.

11) Queuing ing up for anything, i.e. in the bank, in the always nearly deserted cloakroom of the British Library or even for no purpose at all, is completely normal.

12) You don't have a bike (either it has been stolen or you have had an unfortunate encounter with a double decker).

13) You perceive pedestrian traffic lights as merely ornamental.

14) You have learnt the lesson that shoes which go below your ancle are more labour-intensive than cost-effective (toasting your soaked shoes on the heater everytime it rains is not what I consider a potential hobby).

15) Last but really not least: Your umbrella is your best friend.

1 courageous comments!:

Anonymous said...

ad 5,

compared to the Israel's safety measure that's nothing in London.
In Jerusalem all public buildings and every shop, restaurant,... have at least one guard for controlling your bags and packs.
Beside this fact, there are countless soldiers, who are patrolling through the city with their Kalashnikov! :-o